Tuesday 25 January 2011

Show me the money

The recent news that Facebook has purchased the domain fb.com for $8.5 million just goes to further emphasise the fact that some people have far too much money.

Still, it’s good to see companies like that splashing out a bit. Firstly because, according to the press, there is apparently no money left in the world but also because, in my experience, the people who have money are usually the ones who are less likely to spend it.

You all know the kinds of people I’m referring to. They are the loud pompous ones in meetings who will bang on about their new BMW Z3 whilst showing off their Rolex watch, and then quibble over a £30 invoice. The same people who will phone up and ask you to do work for them and expect you to do it for free. And think it’s perfectly acceptable to ignore invoices and statements for a year.

It’s always difficult to demand money off people but it needs doing sometimes; if only so I can afford to put food on my plate. Given this alleged recession we are in, I happen to find myself spending more money than ever. As well as continuing to pay a mortgage of a squillion quid a month, I’m also getting a new kitchen built this year. I’m also planning an extension on the house. As well as that, I’m also getting married in November and that not only means a huge expense for the wedding itself, it also means that I’ll soon have a wife and that means I’m going to be in debt for the rest of my life.

On the business side of things, Datapartners is continuing to prosper nicely. We are shortly moving offices and employing a new member of staff. Over the next year or so, the plan is to build a purpose built office. This, of course, involves huge personal expense and, although it is an investment opportunity and I expect to make a good return over time, I am left wondering how the hell I am going to pay for all these exciting developments.

I have therefore decided to purchase a cricket bat. Any payment stragglers will get a visit from my colleague, Mr Big. Failing that, I will email Facebook’s founder Mark Zuckerberg and ask if he’s got a spare $8.5 million he can lend me.

Wednesday 19 January 2011

Sometimes the truth hurts

Here at Datapartners we pride ourselves on our honesty. We also pride ourselves on our devilishly good looks and charisma but that’s a different subject altogether.

The point is, with well over a decade of experience in pretty much all aspects of the web, we have a rather vast catalogue of knowledge. As a result we also pride ourselves on being geniuses.

So when people contact us with questions and advice, we are more than happy to put our knowledge to good use. The trouble is that sometimes we have to disappoint people by stating that what they are asking for might sound easy but is actually very difficult and consequently costly. Sometimes we have to politely explain why an idea someone has isn’t very good and isn’t going to make them rich. Sometimes we have to point out that a brilliantly original idea someone has is neither brilliant nor original and has already been done by Google, Facebook and Twitter.

It comes down to the age-old problem of people not realising what goes on behind the scenes of a working website. Sometimes it comes down to people not considering that the general public don’t possess the same intricate knowledge of their business and need things explained in idiot speak. Sometimes it is just plain crazy. It shouldn’t be that difficult to understand that having grey text on a black background in a really small font isn’t very clever. It is common sense not to present people with a million different options in a variety of sub options if they choose one of the options of the options in the options sub-set under options. Keep things clean, presentable, accessible and simple!

Sadly, some people choose to ignore the advice given and will go elsewhere to get the job done instead. This is always sad for us because it not only means that we lose a valued customer (and a part of us dies a little inside every time that happens) but it also leaves us feeling helpless in the knowledge that they are wasting their time going to someone else who won’t be as honest, will offer to do everything they ask in order to get the money and, in most cases, fail to deliver.

The good news is that sometimes people come back because they have had a bad experience with their newer suppliers (usually for the reasons stated above). This makes us very happy indeed.

So, rather than wasting your money with cowboy companies, please listen to our expert advice. Even if you don’t like it, we are saying it because it is generally sound advice. Here at Datapartners we always have the interests of our customers at heart. We want to look after you.

Choose Datapartners and LOVE your business!